Thursday, October 29, 2009

Proudly emotional for my Jesus

When I was a little girl, I would sit with my parents in church. And my mother, every week it seemed like (in reality it probably wasn't), would get emotional during the worship time. I would sit next to her and cringe as I heard her singing and saw tears began to fall down her cheeks. I worried about what people around us would think. Would they think her crying was somehow my fault? Would they think that I was so badly behaved that she was crying because of me? What if people began to stare at us? In my foolish childlike thinking, I worried about these things.

This past Sunday in church, I had one of these moments again. Except I wasn't the little girl sitting next to my mom. I was the mom standing next to my husband. And a song that so beautifully displays the gospel began to play. It's a song that I've heard often but as of late, everytime I hear it I am completely overwhelmed. As I stood there, fighting back the tears and trying to maintain my composure, I began thinking about my experience as a child. And how much the Lord has changed me. And how much He is still doing. And how ashamed I feel for having those thoughts as a child. And how blessed I am to have a mother that is so overwhelmed with the love and sacrifice of her Savior that she begins weeping in church while singing to Him. I suddenly felt incredibly fortunate for my mother and the example that I have had in her throughout my life.

So, at the risk of Cayden being totally mortified of me crying in church someday, I will proudly do it. I want him to see how in love with Jesus his mother is. I want him to know the depths at which the Lord has gone to in order to be with him someday. I want him to see how real He is. How powerful. How loving. How awesome. How perfect.

The song that I am talking about is "How Deep the Father's Love For Us" by Stuart Townend. Here are the lyrics:

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son,
To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders.
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished.
His dying breath has brought me life,
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart,
His wounds have paid my ransom

The video of it is below. I don't know how anyone who knows Jesus can hear it and not be moved.


Ashley said...

Oh, I cry EVERY time I hear that song...I love it!