Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thankfulness

We have so much to be thankful for this year. God has provided for us – like He always does – but He has blessed us with a lot of the desires of our heart in 2008. I am thankful for our salvation, our health, for Collin’s new job, for the opportunity to be close to my parents for the first time in 7 years, for good friendships and wonderful family, and for never being in need of anything…there are so many things. But this year, I have such a special thing to be thankful for. I am tearing up just typing this, but I am SO grateful for this precious little boy growing inside of me. I remember back to this time last year…Collin and I wanted a baby so bad. We hadn’t been trying to get pregnant very long and were very hopeful and optimistic but as time started going by and it wasn’t happening, I started to get worried. It seemed like everyone around us was getting pregnant fast and while we were thrilled for them, we secretly wondered if anything was wrong with us. All I’ve ever really wanted to be is a wife and a mom and the thought that it might not ever happen for me was devastating. Every month that we weren’t pregnant was heart breaking. God revealed a lot to me during that time of waiting. He showed me overwhelming love and more than anything, He showed His sovereignty throughout this whole process. He grew Collin and I even closer and provided such an encouragement and support for me in Collin. When I finally saw those 2 pink lines on the pregnancy stick on May 2nd, I burst into tears immediately. And looking back on it, I am amazed. We had no idea at that time that we would be moving 300 miles across the state in just 4 ½ short months. If we had gotten pregnant any earlier than we did, it would have made for a big mess. We have needed these months since we moved here to prepare for the baby. We could have made it work, don’t get me wrong, but God knew all the details and made it a smooth transition for us. Thankfully, nothing was wrong with us and it was just a matter of timing and waiting on Him. He is always so faithful to me and yet I always stand amazed at His perfection with all things in my life.

We weren’t trying to get pregnant for very long compared to so many people but when you’re worried that it might not happen for you, it seems like longer. My in-laws tried for years and years to get pregnant before Collin came along. I read blogs of girls all the time who have been trying for 2 years or 4 years or longer and are having to go through all kinds of fertility treatments. It absolutely breaks my heart. I in no way want this to sound like I’m complaining because it took us longer than we thought it would to get pregnant. I just want to share how especially thankful we are for our little blessing. God answered our prayers with this baby. I want Cayden to always know and feel how very loved he is and how much we wanted and prayed for God to bring him to us. My cup truly runneth over this year… Thank You Lord for all of your many blessings and for answered prayers in Your perfect timing. My friend Stephanie emailed me this poem the other day, saying that it made her think of Cayden. I cannot read it without tearing up and smiling at the same time.

A Little Boy
Scuffed up knees, a freckled nose with dimples here and there.
A daring, caring, sharing heart; a mass of tousled hair.
Boundless curiosity, the spirit to explore.
Two twinkling eyes, a smiling face, and energy galore!
A love of life, a bit of sass, a source of untold joy.
A wonderment, a dream fulfilled, God’s miracle…… a Boy!!!

If you’re waiting on God to answer your prayers this year, please know that He hears you. And that even if you’re having to wait for something, there is a reason and He will work out all the details. It will be better than you can even ask or imagine. Cast all of your cares on Him because He really does care about you so much. And His strength truly is made complete in our weakness.

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